August august Augustus…

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Pink moon

The blackness of the August night, holds the red light of the blood moon,

Reflection of the luminary in the ocean water, so unreal,

Pink glitter playing in the waves, disturbing stillness of the summer night.

Run as fast as can run away from, run towards…

Run till can’t feel the body anymore,

The movement of the body, can’t feel the movement although surroundings move,

Changing episodes, moving clouds, falling stars like fireworks in the sky.

Leave the dead fishes behind, run towards new born seagulls,

Closing doors of old realities, opening new doors.

Seeing past as footprints in the sand,

Can’t even capture footprints, waves rush to clear them.

Aloneness in the night, feel the oneness with everything

Moving through darkness, like a sea wave.

Freedom of the night before it gives birth to the morning.

Dissolving darkest fears and running towards something beyond imagination,

Running towards self, an empty night sky.

Just leave the movement, just drop it, embrace the lightness

It feels like floating in the space, the lightness.

All that I lived for, all that I died for throughout those lifetimes,

Realizing mortality in immortality,

It was and it is not anymore,

So much movement…

Slipped like sand through my fingers

It seems I have ran forever,

Moving through existence,

Seeing civilizations rise and fall,

It was so meaningful and then the meaning changes…

August see as august the new year, new beginning, new movement…

© laura ciciskinaite

Addictions of da evil queen

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Juodos Varnos 3

The queen of darkness lived glamorous and pompous life, she had many palaces many slaves, addicted to material success. She wanted to have, she wanted to possess everything she touched she wanted to own as her property, had to own, ownership as an addiction. Owning things, places, animals, people. Those who didn’t obey her she wanted to punish or at least push them and push in fear, so others would fear and revere her. She gained attention inducing fear in others. She became dark many many lifetimes ago. How this happened? Nobody remembers the story how she fell from the light or maybe she was born of darkness. Was she fallen or she was pure darkness itself? At some point in evolution certain beings fall into dark anger game and yes there is dark and light anger, if anger gets possessed by darkness and turns into hate and then this turns into suffering for the person and the surroundings of that person. Anger if processed and is on a light side, it is strength it is power although if that power gets possessed by darkness it turns into dark force into destructiveness. Powerful beings are very interesting for the light and dark side because over the many lives they learned how to wield power and you have to be an old soul to be master of the power wielding.

The queen was playing the darkness game for so long and this game is very addicting it is much worse than alcohol or drug addiction because it may last for many lives. Game of manipulation and abuse of power, as they say drunk on power or power tripping. This game takes beings in a low state of mind and they experience pain and suffering worse than others and they want spread that pain and suffering on others.The queen was possessed by seven demons; pride, gluttony, wrath, envy, greed, sloth, lust and she wanted to spread that vile reality onto others. There were few days that she wanted to change she had many chances to change, angels asked her to change. Angels didn’t know what to do with her, you can’t just send her to power addiction rehab, or maybe you can? Are there any power addiction rehabs in this universe, maybe it is, what if it happens that one of the rehabs is placed on planet earth? What if Earth is a rehab for vile power tripping beings? Well, this is hard time for young souls…If power tripping demons get unleashed they play ugly games and trash the environment, they spread chaos and suffering all over the place. War is one of their games.Queen who was tyrannical in nature needed many victims, if she wouldn’t have the victims how she would be a tyrant? Tyrant needs victims and victims need tyrant. This is a need game they need each other to coexist. What if victims would get tired of playing the same game over and over again and stop obeying?What if victims in the kingdom would take their power back? Would evil queen stop existing, where she would get power? Maybe she would cease to exist…

What if each individual in kingdom would be able to reconcile their inner darkness so evil tyrant queens or kings won’t be able to manifest in kingdom, if there are no victims there are no tyrants, tyrants can’t rule without victims. What if average village person would reconcile their inner petty tyrant? Tyranny wouldn’t be accepted as norm.Tyrant victim game was played for soo long the kingdom got tiered playing the same game over and over again, it was as if having the same bad day over and over again.Sadism in average man seen as micro cosmos and it manifests macro cosmos, man creates the culture within then it manifests the demagogues, the tyrants outside then it is convenient for an average man to say oh I’m just little me and those outside are big bad. Man’s psyche creates da monsters the personifications of mans darkness, insanity, unrest,misery. Personified evil tyrants…

It took two to tango, tyrant and victim.

Ban victim, ban tyrant!

The END of the tyrant victim game!

©laura ciciskinaite

Zen Silence

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Swan Garnys

Beingness embraces silence,

Movement stops…stillness,

Beingness listens to silence what it has to say…

Gaps between words,

Gaps between thoughts,

Gaps between sounds,

0 and 1 is creation,

Notes and gaps make a symphony…

Beingness truly learns, when it learns read the gaps.

Silence teaches much,

The source is silent although it creates sound

That rise and fall, the waves of sound and stillness of the silence.

Breath in and out…and so it is,

Embrace the silence, ignore the words

Return to inner core bring back the balance,

…no words left to say…

Enjoy the silence!!!!!!!!!

AUM

©Laura Ciciskinaite

Data Overload, Intellect, Wisdom

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Data Intelect 2

Consumerism is one of the trends in this day and age. Consumerism is trendy in general, no matter what humans consume. It is information age, so it is only natural that we get overwhelmed by information, overload of data, a lot of information. There is this saying that person is a walking encyclopedia,ok it’s cool… walking encyclopedia of what? If a person just memorised a lot of words and they don’t understand the essence, then words are useless, even dangerous.

People play word games and on the surface it may sound cool although this isn’t a sign of wisdom, maybe just good memory. Majority of people rely only on their mind or more correctly just intellect and what is intellect, it is just a machine, calculator and if people detached from their emotional body, physical body and nature this is dangerous because who is controlling their mind can direct persons life. If person runs all their life on the intellect it is very ineffective, in yogic understanding, there are 16 dimensions of the human mind. These 16 fall into four categories buddhi, manas, ahankara, and chitta.

Buddhi is the intellect – the logical dimension of thought. Educational systems and science today base their understanding only on intellect and intellect cannot function without a memory bank or you may call it data bank. Well, that depends what data you possess…

Who input the data in your data bank?…corrupt educational system, society?

What if you have 30 gigabyte memory bank and the other person has 40 gigabyte memory bank. Does that mean that 40 gigabyte more intelligent than 30 gigabyte? So, your reality only depends on the data bank you possess because you can’t access other data banks and limited data bank forms reality. Intellect is directly connected to ego, your identity, a persona, it is only useful only as society programmed the persona, if a person would be moved to different kind of society that persona, identity would be useless. For example if you move somebody who lived in western culture who was depended on the system so badly; the person who watches TV, eats junk food, drinks much alcohol and you move them to aboriginal culture, imagine what shock that would be…

Words are limited form of communication and they are so easily misinterpreted. Words have no meaning, humans give them meaning.

If you want, try an experiment, say one word to 10 people and ask them to describe the word for you. You will see that descriptions are very different and we speak in sentences not just single word and what about the book every person will have their own experience, LIMITED MENTAL MODIFICATION. It seems that words became a form of communication when people lost their telepathic ability, remember the story, the fall of the tower of Babel? Words are forms of division, words divide and it serves perfectly for powers that were, ‘divide and rule’…

Words may be used as spells if they are used by a powerful person for good or for bad reasons. Humans may be easily hypnotised by talismanic words and fall into submission of the hypnotist. People say they can’t be hypnotised, well depends who is hypnotised and who is hypnotist, who has more power?

Be careful what words you are using and how it affects you and others. If it is spoken word it is vibration, sound, words affect the reality, especially vibration of the person who speaks the words. Also if it is written word, if powerful person writes the book it has power even if the person reading the book can’t understand it, understanding may come after reading a book many times, that is why spiritual teachers asked students read powerful books and go, and meditate on it. When reading such books usually puts you in high state of mind although it may push you to sleep or you may forget what you just read because it may brake your reality to much.

Warning! When you study subject any subject books and words used only as part of learning, teacher and practice is required also study group, to share the notes.

Many times when people communicate only in words this may get lost in translation, for example when you read a book, you see everything through your own mental modifications. Some spiritual books weren’t advised to be read for the uninitiated because individuals may confuse themselves even more. If person doesn’t have serious spiritual practice, certain teachings may be harmful because people understand things literally and books are written in symbols and metaphors.

‘To conceal the truth by myth prevents contempt of the foolish, and compels the good to practice philosophy.’ Sallustius, 4th century philosopher

If person doesn’t have spiritual practice and/or right teacher and studying group for the subject, they are studying words, books may become WORK OF EVIL because if RIDGED EGO interprets the books it can’t grasp other dimensions of understanding and it only taints the knowledge or totally ruins it!

How clearly you see things depends on how much of your ego you have cleared. In ancient times spiritual teachings were mostly transmitted from teacher to student, books usually were written if school didn’t produce enlightened student. Also many spiritual text were translated and rewritten so many times and every person who touched the text changed it, and sometimes not much original content is left there, which could be very misleading and harmful, some truth may be there although it may do much harm because of the misinterpretation.

‘It is not possible to separate spirituality and wisdom any more than it is possible to prevent a cause from producing its effect. Spirituality actually means that the individual lives or exists upon the level of his spiritual nature or is possessed by the divinity within him. Divinity can have no ignorance within it. God cannot lack anything. Therefore, wisdom is an inevitable correlative of complete spiritual development.’ ~ Manly P. Hall (A Monthly Letter June 1935)

Words change vibration, when you say nice words see how do you feel and when you say harsh words see how do you feel. Saying sound AUM is very powerful it changes your vibration. Words are sounds when pronounced out loud. The best communication is when you don’t have to say many words maybe you don’t have to say any words and person understands you and sometimes you use words but people can’t understand and even if you use other forms of communication they can’t understand you and the more words use say it only gets more confusing, sometimes using more words doesn’t clarify things it only makes it more confusing. So, maybe use less words and if person can’t understand you, maybe sometime in the future they will understand what you wanted to say because they maybe are not ready for the information that you are communicating. Less is more.

Sometimes it is better to listen and not rush to reply because if you truly listen, hear and understand the person she or he may get an answer because somebody paid attention to them, saw them as they are without JUDGEMENT , without MENTAL MODIFICATION.

“He who would enter into the realm of Wisdom must first divest himself of all intellectual pride. Prejudices, pre-conceived opinions and beliefs always stand in the way of true wisdom. Conceited opinions are always suicidal in their influences. They bar the door to the entrance of Truth.” – Ralph Waldo Trine (1866 – 1958)

‘In order to awaken, first of all one must realise that one is in a state of sleep. And in order to realise one is indeed in a state of sleep, one must recognise and fully understand the nature of the forces which operate to keep one in the state of sleep, or hypnosis, it is absurd to think that this can be done by seeking information from sources which induces the hypnosis.

One thing alone is certain, that man’s slavery grows and increases. Man is becoming a willing slave. He begins to grow fond of his slavery, to be proud of ti. And this is the most terrible thing that can happen to man.’ G.I. Gurdjieff

 

Zen Sunset Sadness

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Sun set zen

Sadness of the ending day,

Experience ends,

Sadness overwhelms beingness.

It doesn’t want to let go of the passing day,

Beingness tries to fight sadness, tries to run away from it,

Evening closed the door for the day.

Sadness asks beingness embrace it,

Sadness has lessons to teach,

Be still for the moment and listen,

Be quieter than a blade of grass and be still as a tree.

Beingness embraces the sadness,

Sadness you are welcome here,

Nice to meet you!

Have a cup of tea,

Enjoy!

Talking to sadness,

Sadness said everything it wanted to say,

It was heard,

Shining the light on sadness,

Sadness left, it taught it’s lesson.

Birth of the new experience started,

New feeling,

Colours became brighter

Freshness and stillness of the evening hugs the beingness,

Journey continues…

AUM

Reconcile Relationship Dualities

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Relation 2

One of the basic needs in humans is connection because human body and mind wants connection. When talking about soulmates well, soul doesn’t need a mate although body and mind does. Sometimes people get isolated because of the traumas they got from the previous relationship, at some point in life isolation might serve as good thing, just to get to know yourself although if it last to long it might be damaging. People try to justify their isolation and being spiritual just to avoid relationship. Also there are those that lean on other people and get attached and dependent on relationship. Relationship becomes life goal which is more like an addiction. People do stuff because of the purpose or meaning, not just to enjoy it, just for the purpose of expectation. Expectation then lead to frustration.

How most of the humans build their intimate relationships?

The main factor or motivator would be lack of love and care, most can’t love themselves or can’t love other or their love is tainted by fear of lack, lack of love, lack of care and if they see that somebody is showing at least a drop of attention and care, they think it is love and they ‘drop the cheese’ like a crow in the fairy tale, when fox says to a crow that it is so beautiful, being bought by empty flattery. Humans often use word love although this word is misused in so many cases.The word love been the most prostituted word for so long.

People been betrayed, so many times that they think betrayal is the way because ‘I’ was betrayed so many times, so ‘I’ will do the same I’ll betray, I’ll take the ultimate revenge ‘An eye for and an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.’Mahatma Gandhi   Then blind lead blind. The other motivation for relationship is lust, animal desire to reproduce although it is neither bad nor good, it is just nature wants to multiply, so it has the urge, body has the urge, it wants to multiply. The huma body, animalistic part of it has it’s needs which have to be met. Can’t deny the animalistic part of the body. Humans who base their relationship only on body’s needs most likely are at the animal ‘level’ although not necessarily, well it is not the bad ‘level’, according to Buddhism there are other ‘lower’ levels; a hungry ghost or demon, that is where vampirism starts, humans drain each others energy, that is where lack starts. Buddhist categorise earth existence in god, human, animal, hungry ghost, demon, on this planet you may go as high as god or as low as demon, take your pick, this ladder takes you to heaven or hell, that is to say state of mind. To fall down is easy, gravity helps you to do exactly that, you just fall down the hill as a rock, no effort just rock and roll. Well, if you want to get higher, that requires effort, not many want to do that it is a bit uncomfortable, it is not safe, it is unknown. Freedom or jail what do you choose? These are your creations, of course the environment around you influences you, if you think you are going down the drain, get out of the environment, change your surroundings. Maybe it is time to leave relationship, place,things…

Lust is hot although hate is cold. Relationships may be based on hate or/and lust, so it keeps you in push-pull situation. Then you don’t know who you are and what you want, you stay in the state of confusion, clouded state of mind lust vs hate, this sado/maso drama. Well, some even start to be addicted to this destructive pleasure/pain thing, this is sort of road to nowhere, attachment to sensation.

The other extremes are celibacy or playboy/prostitute duality although this duality was invented by the same ‘company’, so it may keep humans in a tug of war within and make their life suffering and misery, both lifestyles are destructive and may turn human into hungry ghost or demon because it leads to many perversions. Well, if celibacy happens naturally and it is not forced then it is ok, if it is conscious and aware choice. Well, sometimes in life when people can’t find the right partner it is better to stay alone because too many partners means too much noise enters your being, physical body has memory and then body becomes confused, person doesn’t know what s/he wants and who they are.

Many people don’t give each other enough space, usually in family relationship situation, so the other may renew themselves, so they become too known and boring. Of course, the other trend is to choose the other partner as a status symbol: young or/and rich, money or/and looks, just to keep up with the Joneses, huge age difference mommy is pretty and daddy is rich, someone is buying someone is selling, or maybe sugar mommy buys younger man, and yes people think it is rebellious, against who? Who cares? Just to show off against people who don’t care and don’t think about you, yeah that is the achievement, ambition.

The other example, reject civilisation and deny all human traits, run to the mountains, isolate, probably not the best choice in this day and age, well you may do it for short period of time, just to rest, go on holiday, clear your mind.

People also confuse infatuation, charm of others biological computer or personality with love, well you may find better and better personality and biological computer every second, you show me good I’ll show you better one, this is never-ending story. Like and dislike, attraction and repulsion. What do you like better; green eyes, brown eyes, blond hair, black hair, short or tall, black or white, well this is just skin body suite. Are you buying into sexy image? Media sells you ton of styles how to look sexy, well somebody surely makes a lot of money out of that, you may look macho, you may look gay, you may look like prostitute or a nun, priest or playboy. What image of beauty/sexy did you buy into? Of course these are extreme polarities, an average relationship probably has to deal with a little bit of everything.

Polarities in relationship

Reconciling polarities 

p.s. polarities are not all from the text

relationship   isolation

lack of love     worldly love

lack of care     worldly care

lack of nurturing    limited nurturing

I            other

male      female

attention      lack of attention

lack of attention    annoyance

flattery      judgement

praise        judgement

praise    criticism

harsh       nice

tyrant    victim

tyrant    rebel

victim    rebel

tyrant   martyr

abuser    abused

user    used

manipulator   naïve

manipulated   manipulate

pain   pleasure

sado   maso

drama   boring

lust    hate

known   unknown

suffering   indulgence

indulge   restrict

deprivation   indulgence

celibacy   prostitution

celibacy    playboy

prostitute   angry housewife

despot husband    angry housewife

despot husband    slave housewife

despot wife     slave husband

pretty mommy    rich daddy

daddy rich   mommy young

new   old

old   young

beginning    end

show off      hide

visible   invisible

macho    gay

priest   macho

gay   macho

playboy   priest

nun   prostitute

celibacy   Bacchanalia

celibacy   orgy

push   pull

Oh Eternity, please take all of these states of mind which

are unbalanced in this pattern and balance and clear them. Do this so

that I may see more clearly and find my way home more easily.

I give thanks knowing it will be done.

Prayer taken from the book The Marriage Of The Spirit by Leslie Temple-Thurston if you want to learn how to reconcile polarities and learn how to do shadow work recommend get a book and learn the techniques. The link is below.

http://www.corelight.org/resources/marriage-of-spirit/

I LOVE YOU

I’M SORRY

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

AUM

Zen Fairy Tale

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Fairy Tale Zen 5

Stillness of the forest,

Beauty of the nature,

Life cycle…

The yellow butterflies play in the spring sun rays,

The little miracles of the nature

Appearing out of nowhere.

Greenery of the trees,

Ground covered in the last years leaves,

Through brownness of the leaves, the blue flowers rise towards the spring sun,

The new grows out of an old,

The leaves ceasing to exist, give turn for the new life,

The New life springs out of an old…

Old and new,

Beginning and end,

Fall and spring,

Life and death

The play of duality,

Change in process…

Drink in the moment fully,

Desire rises to keep this moment forever,

Time stopped for a moment,there was no time…

Just want to grasp and hold the moment,

It was and it is not anymore,

Time to move on.

New moment starts new experience rise,

Can’t stop the change

Growth continues…

OM

© Laura Ciciskinaite

Zen Market Place

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Zen Martket Place Photo

So, we meet again where everything started,

The place where buying and selling is done.

Time in the cave, miss the cave, it was so comfortable.

Nobody was lying, no stupid movies, no drama to watch.

It was quiet.

Now the noise of the market.

What are we selling?

The Enlightenment, Oneness, Noneness, Thatness, Nameless

Although it may have a name.

How will we package it?

Who is going to buy it?

Who is selling?

What is the price tag?

There is no drama to watch…

Buy the way who is watching?

Who is the observer?

Where the I and the Other are gone?

Who is experiencing?

Experiencing what?

OM

© Laura Ciciskinaite

 

Phantasmagoria

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phantasmagoria

Buying and selling, selling and buying…

What will you buy? What will you sell?

What is your worth? Who is valuing you?

Illusion within the illusion, Maya within the Maya

Wielded by the gods and the demons…

Who is selling better illusion and game?

What will you buy?What will you sell?

Tired of games and illusions!

Trying brake out of the labyrinth,

Want to break free,

Want to be free!

Stop selling lies, lies are boring!

Stop selling the games, games are outdated!

Lies are boring and not entertaining, just a noise

Meaningless noise…

Noise like dogs barking.

The dog is barking, the camel continues its journey.

Just move on.

The noise dies in the winds of existence, as if never existed.

The freedom WINS!

OM

© Laura Ciciskinaite

Personified Divinity Messiah Game

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divinity

Are you having a dilemma what is Divinity?

Does it have a form? Is it formless?

May God become a man?

Do you want to be saved?

Are you being a saviour yourself and play the Messiah game?

Sometimes you feel that there is no help and you fall into despair and helplessness moments and it seems soo dark. The other times you try to save everyone even those who don’t want to be saved, or maybe you will build the whole universe so you may save others.

So, is there any help for the human?

Yes, there is although will you be able to see and recognise the help?

Are you aware and conscious enough to see and hear the Divine?

Divine usually speaks very quietly and it shows itself in many forms, it doesn’t like repetition. Well, it is formless although it takes form. What kind of form? All forms and no form. You may say if God created everything than who created the Devil? You may say the Devil is a Gods beast, the beast which is on the leash and it is allowed to do only the certain amount of havoc. The Devil also may take many shapes and forms it may take God like forms as well, only it spreads suffering, misery, lack, chaos, destruction although it may come in very glamorous form you may think it is good.

‘We can accept God becoming Man to save Man, but not Man becoming God to save himself.’ Vernon Linwood Howard

A lot of humans on this planet want their personal messiah, so somebody would hear them, listen to them, care for them. Hero who would save them from them selves, a hero who would bring salvation. Religions always promise salvation and they say that golden age was in the past and you have to wait for the messiah who will save you in the future. Politicians promise you the great tomorrow , yeah they may give you some treats. The great demagogues always play with your emotions and say that something good was in the past or will happen in the future and they will put this hero in front of the people, so it could be worshipped, like the sun in the morning and it may look bright and significant also it blinds others. People personify Divinity, so they may place their focus somewhere, somewhere positive, just to manage their focus.It is neither good nor bad to have personified Divinity in your life, only at some point you have to drop it or leave  it. At some point you have to leave your guru and become independent. Guru is only a guide it can’t do things for you. Guru may give map and tools although you have to do it on your own. Guru is not there to deliver you hopium, when you are in need of an instant gratification. Guru is not a drug dealer on a speed dial. Guru in Sanskrit is the one who disperses the darkness although don’t forget that light burns and light blinds also it shows all the mess, if you switch on the light in the messy room.

Majority of people on this planet don’t know how to be free, freedom is not very popular thing on the planet and not many know what freedom is, some say you have to pay rather high price on this planet, so you may be free, on the bright side it is doable. there are those who did it and are doing it…

Maybe you are on the other side, maybe you play messiah game.Saviour personality who tries to save others, a motivation to this might be, saving himself/herself from self although there must be ‘I’ and ‘other’ and if there is no ‘I’ and ‘other’, who is to be saved?

Sometimes saviour wants to be saved he/she expects that somebody will come and save him/her. They may dream that something magical will come in to their life take control and take care of them, also will give the meaning or an aim why live? Saving others might be a meaning of life. Saving others might be selfish action. Why? Because light beings don’t like watch others suffer it is very unpleasant and if you are an empath  you feel others pain and if you are not demonic being you don’t like that unnecessary pain and suffering.

What is the meaning? Life is hard without meaning.

Sometimes you want to fall into somebodies arms and want to be held. It is like falling into arms of Divinity and Divinity holds you and cuddles you. You fear loosing that Divinity that warm feeling and feeling at home. You want to go back home so so badly.

Where is the home?

You feel so disconnected without home like a homeless person cold, lost, uncertain just wandering in the middle of eternity searching for something that was lost. The search was long and you are tired, so when you are going to get home?

You need that anchor that meaning, aim, so you personify that Divinity, so who is Divinity in your life who is the guru? Question is who isn’t your guru or divinity, including yourself? Every being you have met on your path is part of divinity and yes including dark beings although most likely when you get to know them you understand that hanging around dark beings is unpleasant, so you try to avoid their presence. You may want somebody to breath in life into your being, so you would be alive, and dark beings suck a life force out of other beings. Do you know some of those dark beings or one of them is staring at you in the mirror? Like a black hole sucks life force out of you.

How much of Divinity you may experience?

How much light you may let in?

Individual soul enjoys amount of Divinity it has the capacity to receive. Light burns, it also blinds, so it is better to let in light gradually and remove inner blocks bit by bit and on the road to Divinity it is good to have a guide who already have done it. Choose your guide wisely.

Who are you going to follow a shining star or a black hole?

Or you are going to become one of them?

One day you may say I’m home…OM… That day might be NOW….

© Laura Ciciskinaite