Perfect Moment, Shine Bright


The smell of cold air and fallen leaves,

The smell of frankincense  and burning candle…

The Christmas lights shine bright, shine bright

The fireworks in the air shine bright, shine bright.

The lights inside shine brighter, shine brighter,

It shines brighter than any other outside lights.

The inner lights overwhelmingly awesome.

Nothing outside compares to inside lights.

Meditate, connect to inner light

Then the outer lights shine brighter,

You go with the Divine flow,

In time of no time,

In the Divine plan, without the plan…








Tomorrow doesn’t exist


Autumn, wonderful time of the year, colourful and so soothing, the air is so crisp and fresh. Autumn also known as fall…leaves fall…it seems that nature is dying, well it is not dying, it is changing.

One autumn evening I decided to go and see my friends, swan family that lives in the pond not far away from my home. So I went… When I approached the pond only one swan was there, that was very strange and unusual. I walked around the pond and expected to find second swan although my search was unsuccessful. The only swan that left in the pond was male swan, I looked at him and in my mind asked him; what happened? The answer was go to your meditation place, so I went. Before approaching meditation place there was this feeling that I’ll find black feathers there. When I got to my meditation place, there were at least three black feathers, this is not a good omen. I got overwhelmed with sadness.The other thought that came through my mind was go home and you will find an article on what happened, so I did. The article was rather cold, yeah but what else you can expect from news paper article. It seems that the female swan just disappeared, people who look after the place suspect that it was fox, fox ate the swan. Maybe it was a fox; who knows…

The couple lived together sixteen years, one of them left the body, the other continues exist as a male swan.

Yes, the soul is immortal whether animal or human although body is fragile and it can cease to exist in any moment. Even if you try to cling to the moment it passes by, you desperately try to grasp it but it transforms into something else, sands of time continue to flow and change.

Cherish your embodiment, it is a temple treat it well. If you are postponing things and think you can do things tomorrow, tomorrow might never come for the embodiment. I’m not trying to instil fear, just want to bring awareness, the individuation or the mandala of the embodiment transforms constantly and sometimes it comes to a point when it drops its whole form, structure. Whatever you do right now do it with full awareness. Even if you just drink water or go for a walk make it special because it is special if you put whole attention and awareness into it. If you want to clear your mind go for a walk, clarity of the mind brings you into awareness and you can enjoy the now. Try to do mundane things like; eating, walking with full awareness and see how they become magical.

In my mind I still have a memory of the perfect summer day and magical moment when Sally the swan was still in her embodiment and was swimming in the pond with her cygnets and they were enjoying the perfect moments together and brought joy to people. Animals are good example how to stay in the moment and make the most of it. Be aware notice things around you.

Sally with cygnets 🙂

Forbidden Feeling Love

Rose raudona

Snow queen in her ice castle, everything is frozen because of the rigid heart, love is forbidden in the kingdom, love is considered feeling of the weak commoners and those who lack in ambition. Love is a crime that is punishable by death. How can heartless queen get rid of her greatest enemy? Kill it, kill love. Snow queen believes that love made her weak, made her suffer and caused pain, the pain was unbearable, so even word love is forbidden in her kingdom. She desperately tries to run away from the pain, she thinks that she is strong, she had built huge walls around her castle, so her enemy, love couldn’t get in. She always thought that love was her enemy and she stayed behind the walls of the ice castle.

After many years of suffering she realised that enemy wasn’t love, in fact, she was lied to and she bought a lie. As they say; it is better to realise later than never. Now she knows that the only thing she was afraid of is to loose love, she was afraid to loose a feeling that was so comforting and warm and she was afraid of isolation and coldness. As ironic as it may sound, she became that which she was afraid of. She used her own will to isolate herself from love. Now she is aware that she bought a lie, she sees her enemy, she knows that enemy sold her a lie, because it can’t feel love the enemy can’t feed on love, it only feeds on fear. The enemy sold a lie to the queen that she should be afraid, very afraid she should isolate and live in her ice castle and she should fight love.

While queen lived in her ice castle she was perfect food for the enemy, although one day she shined a light on the lie and she saw it for what it was, it was a lie. The spell have been broken, warm spring came to the kingdom and ice walls started to melt, love melted ice and frost, life engulfed the castle. When the queen smells roses in her garden, that smell like apples, and drinks morning tea she invites the enemy to smell the roses. For some reason enemy seems puzzled it doesn’t understand humour and for some reason it doesn’t like the smell of roses. Some say the smell of roses is an angel and it threatens demons. Probably angels and demons don’t mix  together.

Queen is aware of the enemy she knows, the enemy wants her to be afraid, very afraid and it tries again and again to sell lies to the queen although queen says NO to an enemy. She knows the enemy well the enemy is a trickster, it likes fear because he only knows fear it doesn’t know what love is. Love is very foreign to the enemy. The enemy tries to create as much fear as it can so other snow queens and kings would be a perfect food source and it tells lies that love is bad, love hurts. The enemy is a master salesman it convinces many souls to buy fear, so they would create food and reality for the enemy.

If you think that love hurts that is a lie. Fear hurts. When fear invades your being love becomes tainted. Pure love heals and nourishes. When your heart is rigid you can’t be fluid and life force inside is frozen, you can’t move freely.

© Laura Ciciskinaite


Faith Freedom Gulbe

This world is endless maze there are so many of those who try to catch your attention or try to sell you something; a thing or a lifestyle…Do you buy everything that is on offer?What do you buy? Why do you buy it?

So, when I have googled freedom, first thing that came up was makeup brand…well you could say makeup would give you freedom, I wonder how exactly makeup gives you freedom. So, draw your face and you will become free?

There are many of those who are going to sell you lifestyle, that supposedly will give you freedom. You can choose a lifestyle, there are many choices out there or you can create your own lifestyle or brand.

Yes, you can buy into ‘Sex and the City’ lifestyle but if you are going to sleep with whole pond of frogs will you find prince charming and who said that prince is going to be loving, caring…,well charming they said, he is going to be, just charming and charming he is, nothing more, nothing less.Well, you might meet princes Rose and she will turn into evil witch…oh, those deceiving appearances. You were looking for soul mate but you found a cell mate…Who sold you idea of DA ONLY ONE soul mate? How do you know that it is true?

You can buy into ‘Family Guy’ lifestyle. They even have joke about average family in the USA,husband and wife, two and a half kids and golden retriever. You can choose life/family model were ‘daddy is rich and mama is good looking’.

You can buy into exercise freak lifestyle and yes exercise may become an addiction, it is not worst addiction, but still.

Few years ago people use to have an idea how business person should look like, straight male in his 40’s wearing a suit and a tie, there are still people who believe this idea. I heard this story when 19 year old businessman wearing t shirt and  sneakers went to the bank and in the bank there was this note business clients don’t need to queue, so he approached bank person without the queue, of course he was told off, when he said that he is a business client. When bank person realised that young guy was really  business client, that was a bit of a shock. People still have stereotypes and label people. People have an idea how business person should look like.

Some people say that there are people who buy into gay lifestyle, even if they are not gay, they just choose a lifestyle because it is trendy or they want to fit in, into industry they work in for example fashion industry or show business.

Being ‘spiritual’ it is also a trend, a lifestyle choice. If you think that you can sit in cross legged pose, you think it means you know how to meditate, cross legged position is not indicator of meditation. Spacing out is not meditation and daydreaming is not meditation.If you are psychic you think you are spiritual, not necessarily. Sometimes it seems non spiritual people are more spiritual than those who claim they are spiritual.

You can be a monopoly guy or a downshifter choice is there, you can choose. It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do what matters is.Why you are doing it? Does it make you more or less free? Do you want to be free? Freedom is also synonyms to word responsibility. The problem is that a lot of people on this planet still don’t know how to be their own authority, this is because they never been taught how to be free and response able. Free person is dangerous to the system  because he/she won’t obey blindly.

Be aware, system knows that you will try to escape the reality that you don’t like, so they created ‘sex, drugs, rock and roll’, basically indulging and addiction trap or you may say instant gratification. It seems a lot of generations fall the same way, overindulge in simple pleasures of life. They get sucked in the INSTANT GRATIFICATION trap, a spoiled brat mentality.

There were and there are a lot of social movements that fight for freedom a lot of the movements start with good intentions, unfortunately a lot of the movements get hijacked by dark forces and stray away from their initial motives. Be aware of fake people.

This planet is a maze enjoy while you are on it but don’t forget that it is a trap, very entertaining, but still a trap.Learn mindfulness, awareness and responsibility these words are synonymous to freedom.

If you want to regain your freedom learn mental emotional processing, also learn how to meditate, learn be mindful and aware, learn how to be in the now. I know it is difficult to learn and apply  all these things because we have been taught quite the opposite, basically how not to live our lives.People are unaware of the mental, emotional bodies.It is a common knowledge that thought create reality. Do you know where thoughts come from? Do you think all thoughts that go through your mind are yours? Why do you choose certain lifestyle model? Why do you do what you do? What is your motivation? Get to know your mind and you will be able to answer these questions.

One of the biggest fears humans have is fear of loss, afraid to loose something or someone, fear of death, loss of the physical body.You may come to a point in your life, this life or next life when you realise that you have nothing to loose because you don’t own anything or anyone, you may  borrow something but eventually you have to return it…Some say that freedom is when you have nothing left to loose.

Finally, one of my favourite Zen koans;’Be in the world but not of it’.

© Laura Ciciskinaite


Reality Dragonfly


Enter the dragonfly, snake and frog reality. Mystical beings, masters of transformation and metamorphosis, inspiration for change. Beings that are connected to a water element, their reality is fluid and flowing.Learning how to go with the flow, of course with the right kind of flow 🙂 Walking out from one reality into another…

Realities differ a lot, each reality is its own  world, each person human or non human, lives in their own version of reality. Every person walks in their own movie, reality show and of course they are the super star of their own show. Watching human shows is kind a boring because most humans try desperately to be authentic and original and out of that, they get very desperate and inauthentic show, rather boring, horribly boring…

I am in a middle of nowhere in the forest sitting by the pond, very romantic place hanging out with frogs, dragonflies and snakes. Frogs and snakes seem very meditative…

Gazing at the frog it doesn’t move just gazes back at me, we meditate on each other, and snake comes in the scene, it gazes at me for short while and dives back into the water.A lot of dragonflies pass by me, they are very playful and colourful maybe a bit distracting but in a good way 🙂 I wonder if dragonflies get attached to their dragonflynness because it seems humans attach to their humanness…

Snakes are very meditative creatures.In ancient Egypt they use to keep snakes especially cobras as their companions this was sort of prove their own emotional stability and fearlessness, because if you have any anxiety or fear even the smallest amount cobra will instantly kill you and you are dead in few minutes. Ancient Egyptians also use to keep lions for the same purpose. Don’t do this at this day and age because humans are very emotionally unstable and full of fear, so nowadays they would be killed instantly.

In the astral realm it is very easy to enter and exit different realities, of course if you are welcome there, otherwise the doors will be closed and walls built so you won’t be able to enter.In 3D world maybe it is a bit difficult to enter and leave reality’s because of the dependency, a lot of the times financial dependency and  believe systems. What keeps you in certain reality is your believe system, of course physical aspects are also very important, you get influenced by outside world but you also can influence the outside. It takes quite some effort to pull yourself out of the unwanted reality, imagine if you live in reality where everybody is alcoholic and you are the only one who doesn’t drink alcohol, if everybody is an alcoholic and you don’t want to drink then you are not normal, you fit out.If you want to leave that reality it could be hard because other realities are unknown. Fear of the unknown is a big thing, of course situation changes if somebody is willing to show you around the  unknown and when unknown becomes familiar you decide if you want to stay or move on.

I like this quote from the ‘Matrix’ movie when Morpheus says to Neo:’What is real? How do you define ‘real’? If you’re talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then ‘real’ is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.’

Another famous quote that defines reality :’If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.’ Nicola Tesla

Famous Plato allegory: ‘The Allegory of The Cave’ attempted to answer question: what reality is? People who rely only on their senses seem stuck in ‘the cave reality’ and shadows seem real to them. Only those who explore further than ‘the cave reality’ can see a bigger picture. It seems that Plato predicted ‘The Cave Reality’ it’s like people who follow mainstream media and watch TV, it is like they watch shadow show and they don’t want to leave their cave.

Reality seems like M. C. Eschers drawings it has structure but words can’t explain much.Well, words are very limited form of communication.

So what creates your reality ? Your spiritual,mental,emotional, physical state creates your reality so you should take care of all these aspects. A lot of humans want to take care only physical aspect of their being and this may create a lot of pain and suffering and yes things are changing, another part of human beings started to take care of all parts of their being. These two sides of humanity are worlds apart, they live in different realities, even if they share same physical space. The gap between two realities seems getting bigger and bigger…

Now is the time to learn how to transform, change be fluid and adaptable like dragonfly…

Reality is in infinite amounts of ways…

© Laura Ciciskinaite



Life and Death

Life and Death Image

Life and death cycle…it is a process of nature. On this planet for a long time there was imbalance between life and death cycle, well, you can perfectly see this in current medical system and pharmaceutical industry, these industries in many cases don’t let beings live nor let them die, it keeps biological body in limbo not alive, nor dead, like a zombie. This state causes a lot of pain and suffering which is food for demon beings.

Demonic beings like to incarcerate living beings just to feed of their energy that includes plant, animal and human life. So what do you think slaughter houses and horrible farms are for?Well, basically just harvest suffering energy…Why do you think people now live in such a horrible houses that are like cardboard boxes, basically blocks of flats look like chicken coops? The ugly environment, trashy art, unhealthy life style creates perfect space for demonic beings and of course hell for other beings.

Humans are so far away from nature and natural life and death process. Separation from nature causes a lot of pain and suffering…The solution for the situations is, spend as much time in nature as you can be present, aware and grateful for the nature because that is your source of life, you are it, you are nature. Nature can teach you so many things,when you go to meet nature be respectful behave with it like with your friend, because you are part of nature, just be with it, be nature. Get to know nature. Where do you think ancient masters use to draw their knowledge from?

‘As above so below’ getting to know micro and macro cosmos…

Watching light particles playing in the air they are all different…even the smallest particles of nature are unique.

Human beings want to go to the same plastic surgeon to look the same…Why? Sameness seems like incarceration… a lot of human beings like to just ‘copy paste’ reality…this is like a scene from some horror or dystopia movie, tragic and comical…Did you see movies ‘Escape from L.A.’ and ‘Idiocracy’ ? The movies were quite prophetic, especially the scene from the movie Idiocracy when people watch movie and in the movie they just show someones ass for 90 minutes and it seems funny to everyone, and it even won Oscars. Have you noticed that mainstream media is that ass scene from the movie? That is why a lot of peoples attention span is maybe 3 seconds and all they can do just ‘copy paste’ crap reality. Main stream media totally kills creativity and human potential.It makes human stupid and zombie like.

Want to be wise spend time in nature. Nature teaches so many things and organic process of life and death. Maybe after spending time in nature you will loose your fears of living and fear of dying.

People understand dying as death of physical body, but it could be a death of your old lifestyle, death of habits, death of old you…Death can teach you how to be detached, how to let go and how to live life fully , because tomorrow might not come…Even scientist can tell you tomorrow doesn’t exist.There is only now.

I have been observing birds for quite few years and they are so detached, totally live in the moment. I am grateful for the bird wisdom, they are such a great masters.

Life and death cycle on the beach…the beach that stretches few miles there are so many life forms from most simple life forms as molluscs to complex life forms as whales. There is this part of beach where you can step on the rocks, the rocky part of the beach, rocks are the home of variate of plant and mollusc life, you can feel and hear how plants and molluscs breath and live, they have created their reality which seems magical like scenes form the movie ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’. Molluscs are perfect food for the birds, there are so many variety of birds, so many colours,sizes…When birds pick out molluscs from their shells, empty shells lie on the sand, some of them look like colourful easter eggs, some of them look like broken blue porcelain crockery.Shells turn into colourful sand after some time…life and death cycle, from living breathing being turning into sand ‘Ashes to ashes, dust to dust’. Death to mollusc, food for bird. It is sad that beings have to eat other being just to live…well maybe one day this will change.

There were quite few dead bodies of birds lying on the beach don’t know weather they have died from natural causes or ate rubbish that humans leave behind…so many humans are so disrespectful to life, they are so careless about their own life and other beings lives…human irresponsibility and disrespect causes so much unnecessary pain and suffering…

What causes pain and suffering? Separation from nature and consumerist life which is so unnatural for human beings. The solution, reconnect with nature, with mother earth be grateful and stop consumerist lifestyle. Yeah, shopping is not going to solve your problems. Other peoples approvals not going to make you happy it is just going to make you approval junkie.

© Laura Ciciskinaite

Transience Wabi-Sabi


First thing that comes in mind thinking about transience,Buddhist monks in their perfect ochre robes making a colourful sand mandala. It takes long time to make it, soon after it is made it is destroyed. Creation and destruction…Sand mandalas are representation of transient material life.

Creation and destruction of mandala is highly ceremonial.

I like to create my ‘sand’ mandalas not really from sand. One was created out of sea shells, very tiny sea shells…nobody can put a price tag on creation like that and now it only ‘exists‘ as photo image…

One day I have left message in the sand made of sea rocks. Of course the message no longer exist in material form, it was washed away by sea waves, hopefully somebody got the message…


Sea also makes wonderful drawings. Pictures are so perfect…


Drawings disappear after few hours. Sea water washes pictures away…


The next day new pictures are created…different pictures.


Everything is in constant change, well if things would stay the same that would be boring.

There is this saying; ‘The more things change the more they stay the same.’ Constant and change are different sides of the same coin.

Some people say, ‘oh those lifetimes in Lemuria and Atlantis were so much nicer better and now life is so grey’. Remember the lives in Egypt they were so cool I was trying to grasp on those moments, those lifetimes although they slipped through my fingers like sand…

Yes, that might be true. As they say, ‘all good things come to the end’, yeah, but they forgot to say that bad things come to the end too.

My sea shells turn into sand and maybe one day somebody is going to make colourful sand mandala out of that sand.


Make your own own ‘sand’ mandala every day, every moment, choose colours and ingredients that are best for you and makes you joyful. Enjoy things while they last and don’t be afraid to let go when it is time to do so…

© Laura Ciciskinaite