Immortal Love

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eternal-love

You said you loved me and you still do…

You shine so bright…so bright you blind me.

You said you’ll leave and so you did…

Why the pain of loss is so unbearable?

Life and death…

The death of the physical

Physical mandala dropped

Mortal physicality left, dissolved.

Immortal love stayed, I’ll keep it.

I’ll keep the love!

Love is immortal it is eternal!

I’ll be unafraid, I’ll love again!

The love will multiply.

I still do…love you…

***

Two eternities meet for a moment…

Hour, day, year or forever…

They got high in the moment that lasted forever,

They got drunk on Divine,

Divine moment.

Two parts of Divinity meet the ecstasy multiples, expands

Make it last eternity and forever…

OM

Divine gift from heaven

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dsc_2576

The glimpse of the divinity tonight,

Pure, light snowflakes sent from the haven,

The gift that makes white carpet on the ground.

White snow the shower of the way in the blackness of the night.

Stillness and peace of the winter time,

When mother earth rest before the new beginning of the spring.

The end and the beginning in the eternity of no ends and no beginnings…

A form of individualized snowflake that joins the other snowflakes,

One form that makes another form,

This starts out of formlessness.

The element of water that is formless,

It crystallizes and takes a shape of a snowflake.

Snowflake that reminds you of divinity,

When The One divides into many parts,

The many join together into mandala of snow,

At the beginning of the spring, the many melt

Into the formless water…

OM

The drop of Love, Rise in Love

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rose-2

In the darkest hour of the bottomless abyss,

The hopeless place, without a speck of light.

The darkest darkness and no view in front of you.

The only thing that’s left , I envy the owls,

Owls can see at night.

Who argues with an owl that night is dark?

May I borrow owls vision, so I could see in the darkness?

When I would stop falling?

Where is the bottom of the abyss?

Floating in the void, no floor under the feet…

Is it true, as low as you can go as high you can rise?

When is it time to rise?

The drop of love that disperse the darkness,

The drop of love that dissolves the darkest darkness,

Even one drop is more than enough, the only one!

Love that is soo freeing,

Love and freedom goes hand in hand,

The clarity, the light, discernment, joy, faith and wisdom, it is so powerful.

It is the power, balanced and wise power.

Creative substance of the Universe.

Rise in Love!

OM

Choices Crossroads Experience

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x

Standing on the crossroad, making a choice, big or small. Life consists of choices, choices brought you were you are now and choices will bring you some place else. Your life experience depend on your choices.  It is better to make aware and conscious choices, this planet is like a board game, a chess board that consists of black and white squares, black squares represent ignorance, white represent knowledge. In Buddhism ignorance is a greatest ‘sin’ because in ignorant and unaware state of mind you make choices that may not serve you well and may take you into a dark place, of course  by making conscious choices you may get out of dark place, only it is hard to do so when your mind is confused. It is better not to make choices when you are in confused state of mind, get your mind unconfused first. Your mind is like a water when its stirred up you can’t see things clearly and then you walk through life blindfolded.

On this planet you may experience polarities right and wrong, good and bad, high and low, success and failure… So, who writes definitions for the right and wrong, high and low…well, those who control, manage the mind. If somebody is controlling or programming your mind, you may say they make choices for you. Media, education system, society program individuals mind. So, do you want to keep all the programs? How programs serve you? What do you want to uninstall?

The system or the matrix ,whatever you want to call the status quo, wants you to be predictable. They are like a machine want to calculate what you are going to do next.

What are you going to do next?

System doesn’t like unpredictability, even in small choices of your life.

What clothes are you going to wear today?

What lipstick are you going to wear today, if any?

Which road are you going to walk today?

Are you going to make your own road?

Are you going to start walking the road that starts appearing in front of you when you start walking the road? Are you going to make the road?

Walk the road that nobody walked before…

Are you going to take a leap of faith, like a fool on a tarot card, facing the unknown?

Fool doesn’t mean stupid although it may be, the fool card is number zero. This reality is made up of 0 and 1. In yoga we try to become 0 because the 0 is infinite possibility.

Unknown is always scary, you may shine the light in front of you, so you may see the road that starts to appear.

How do you shine the light in front?

Reconcile polarities in your mind, become neutral observer, well this may take you some time although it is better to start doing it sooner than later. Clear mind serves you better. Learn to meditate, still your mind.

How to reconcile polarities?

Shadow work mental,emotional processing, uncondition yourself of fear. The best processing techniques I have learned is from the book The Marriage of Spirit  by Leslie Temple-Thurston.

You may read more about the book here

Process fears and other emotions, get to know your emotions, get to know when it is real anxiety and when it is fake fear.

More info on fear processing and fear processing exercise

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yso57ZmEhI

Here is more info on mediation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN0Hr05BHAA

 

 

 

 

 

Perfect Moment, Shine Bright

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fierworks

The smell of cold air and fallen leaves,

The smell of frankincense  and burning candle…

The Christmas lights shine bright, shine bright

The fireworks in the air shine bright, shine bright.

The lights inside shine brighter, shine brighter,

It shines brighter than any other outside lights.

The inner lights overwhelmingly awesome.

Nothing outside compares to inside lights.

Meditate, connect to inner light

Then the outer lights shine brighter,

You go with the Divine flow,

In time of no time,

In the Divine plan, without the plan…

 

OM

 

 

 

 

Are you going to be late for a very important date?

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time-table

Time, you may say, is the only thing that you have in this reality. One of the biggest fears in humans, is lack of time. If you are a mystic you know how to slow down or speed up the time or maybe you live in time of no time. Wealthy people on this planet value time more than money and yes the other big fear in humans is lack of money. So, it is one of these fears that are more predominant, lack of time or lack of money.

You may say the bum on the street has all the time although he is lacking money and the guy who works for the corporation and is a CEO has money although he lacks time. So, who is having better life? Of course those situations are two extreme opposites.

Have you ever asked yourself a question, who owns your time?

How much your time is worth?

Some people think that the more time they save the more they will have although quite the opposite is true, the more time you save the less you have.

This world makes you rush all the time, time is money, these two things are soo entangled. How do you free yourself from this bondage?

When you feel constant anxiety, stop for a moment breath in and look around you, feel the air going in and out of your lungs, see the beauty of the surrounding world, even if it is the city, there must be beauty in the city too, maybe you will see a bird flying by, maybe it is a beautiful dress, maybe a dog running by.

Do you see the constant flow and change of the life?

You just stand there and observe things…

It is peculiar that a tortoise in Zen stories is a master, we think how can this slow creature be a master, it is soo slow? Is it slow? There is this saying in England ‘slowly but surely’. Aristocrats don’t rush, they do things rather slowly. If you rush you want to be more productive, well that usually means mechanical.

It seem that people who don’t rush they, some how, seem flowing, go with the flow, of course with the right kind of flow, and doesn’t mean that they are apathetic or lazy. Is this some kind of magic?

So, what do you do when you just getup , first thing in the morning?

Have you observed?

It is very important how you spend first 20 min of your day, it effects how the rest of the day is going to unfold. Spend first 20 min of your day not rushing what ever you do don’t rush, of course don’t get obsessed or paranoid about that. Meditate drink water or tea, you may make it a small ritual. Make your time magical!

Tomorrow doesn’t exist

LauraLeave a comment

 

Autumn, wonderful time of the year, colourful and so soothing, the air is so crisp and fresh. Autumn also known as fall…leaves fall…it seems that nature is dying, well it is not dying, it is changing.

One autumn evening I decided to go and see my friends, swan family that lives in the pond not far away from my home. So I went… When I approached the pond only one swan was there, that was very strange and unusual. I walked around the pond and expected to find second swan although my search was unsuccessful. The only swan that left in the pond was male swan, I looked at him and in my mind asked him; what happened? The answer was go to your meditation place, so I went. Before approaching meditation place there was this feeling that I’ll find black feathers there. When I got to my meditation place, there were at least three black feathers, this is not a good omen. I got overwhelmed with sadness.The other thought that came through my mind was go home and you will find an article on what happened, so I did. The article was rather cold, yeah but what else you can expect from news paper article. It seems that the female swan just disappeared, people who look after the place suspect that it was fox, fox ate the swan. Maybe it was a fox; who knows…

The couple lived together sixteen years, one of them left the body, the other continues exist as a male swan.

Yes, the soul is immortal whether animal or human although body is fragile and it can cease to exist in any moment. Even if you try to cling to the moment it passes by, you desperately try to grasp it but it transforms into something else, sands of time continue to flow and change.

Cherish your embodiment, it is a temple treat it well. If you are postponing things and think you can do things tomorrow, tomorrow might never come for the embodiment. I’m not trying to instil fear, just want to bring awareness, the individuation or the mandala of the embodiment transforms constantly and sometimes it comes to a point when it drops its whole form, structure. Whatever you do right now do it with full awareness. Even if you just drink water or go for a walk make it special because it is special if you put whole attention and awareness into it. If you want to clear your mind go for a walk, clarity of the mind brings you into awareness and you can enjoy the now. Try to do mundane things like; eating, walking with full awareness and see how they become magical.

In my mind I still have a memory of the perfect summer day and magical moment when Sally the swan was still in her embodiment and was swimming in the pond with her cygnets and they were enjoying the perfect moments together and brought joy to people. Animals are good example how to stay in the moment and make the most of it. Be aware notice things around you.

Sally with cygnets 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPo5WTPw878

The world is not enough

LauraLeave a comment

on-the-top-of-the-world

Big daddy or hero figure keeps promising, you are going to be joyful and enlightened tomorrow, you can’t be it today, keep jumping through hoops it is going to happen tomorrow. So keep jumping, as high as daddy asks you and you keep jumping although that jumping keeps you away from something that is missing in your life, you can’t see the end of the destination. Tomorrow comes and goes and you still waiting for tomorrow, you still have so many hoops to jump through, so many exams to pass because you are not good enough. So you may paper wall the whole room with certificates, diplomas, rewards, it is still not enough, it seems that the whole world is not enough. The feeling of unsatisfaction is following you. You still feel unfulfilled and incomplete.

Keep looking for the soulmate because you think it is going to fill that emptiness and after 10000 and one soulmates you still can’t find the right one, everyone seems so wrong and imperfect. Only if you would be able to find that perfection in a muse, who can inspire you although those muses turn out not to be that perfect and their inspiration fades away.

Not sure if greed is bad, wanting and desire is not bad in it self although wanting and desire out of lack and neediness creates more lack, neediness and hunger. It seems greed is not bad although  stinginess is bad, when you don’t want to share and you think you are going to keep everything for yourself.Water that doesn’t move becomes stale.It is the same with the wealth, money and possessions…and in the end is only sand anyway.Are you still collecting sand?

Also if your desire comes from place of taking away something from someone and this means loss to other, that creates more loss. If you are stealing and you get insulted when somebody is stealing from you. Why do you get insulted, that is not personal?

You think when you’ll jump through that hoop you are going to make it and only then you may be joyful and fulfilled. You have jumped through so many hoops…were you awarded, fulfilled? So, what is stopping you from satisfaction and fulfilment?

There are roles in this world you have to play that society asks you to play. Society says it is mandatory roles and you have to play those roles and you have to pass exams because if you don’t you are considered failure. Where is it written that those roles are mandatory? Who says that society is right? Who defines failure and success? Where did you get definitions of success? Maybe your failure was a success?

Seriously, if somebody would give you the whole world today, you would probably want more, then you would want solar system, galaxy, universe…this is so much sand 🙂

The thing is, only when you look into your inner self, when you have spiritual practice, you meditate and do shadow work, at some point you get that satisfaction and fulfilment. The inn is the only way. Not saying that outer world is bad, it is very entertaining, just don’t make it to big of a distraction.

OM

@ Laura Ciciskinaite

Divine Betrayal

Laura1 Comment

Divine Betrayal 2

Perfect boy who was a master artist he created art, the art was magnificent. Boy created art for his master, boy didn’t know but he was a slave, he served evil master. Evil master gave him watch, very expensive watch, boy was very proud of the watch, the watch was status symbol, he was very proud that he earned the status. Watch was made of gold and encrusted with precious jewels, everybody noticed the watch and saw boy as special and important because he had the watch. Boy was very proud, his ego grew by a minute. The boy thought he is invincible he played the domination and control game, he also  liked abuse of power game, he loved the sense of superiority and he looked down on others as if others were inferior. Boy worshiped his master and he thought that slave master was everything in his life. All of his life force, energy and time he invested in creating art for his enslaver. The slave master was a God and daddy figure for the boy. Boy wanted to please his master and he did everything to climb up the ladder of success. The evil master invented ladder of success, so he could use boys creativity to create world for himself.

Boy use to love a girl, their love was so innocent and pure although one day boy decided that girl is an obstacle, the only think that he wanted to do is to serve the slave master and make art for him, that became his whole life, creating for the slave master. Boy decided to banish the girl from his life, he thought that she was an obstacle, an obstacle for his creation. He betrayed her and sold her to other boys so  they could do anything they liked with the girl. Abandonment and betrayal as bad as they were in it self, for the boy it wasn’t enough, he decided to humiliate the girl and make her suffer…Evil stole his heart and clouded his mind, he couldn’t see clearly  he was a master artist, creator for the evil slave master.

The girl endured horrendous pain in the hands of other boys although she survived, she continued to live.The girl was afraid that she is going to be betrayed buy others again. She was betrayed, she also betrayed others because she thought that is the game she should play, the game of betrayal.

The worst fear was that she was betrayed by the Divine. How come boy got entrenched in materialistic world and forgot his Divine nature? How come Divine let boy betray the girl? If God created love why it created betrayal? If God created everything why it created evil? Girl was betrayed so many times and she betrayed others, she got use to pain, you may say  it was a masochistic addiction, expecting pain and betrayal. She expected pain and betrayal from every relationship, it seemed mandatory to her. Is it mandatory? Maybe there are other games? Maybe it is time to drop betrayal game because it is a bit boring to play the same game over and over again. Time to write new story and invent new games.

I’M SORRY, FORGIVE ME, I LOVE YOU

OM

© Laura Ciciskinaite

Forbidden Feeling Love

Laura1 Comment

Rose raudona

Snow queen in her ice castle, everything is frozen because of the rigid heart, love is forbidden in the kingdom, love is considered feeling of the weak commoners and those who lack in ambition. Love is a crime that is punishable by death. How can heartless queen get rid of her greatest enemy? Kill it, kill love. Snow queen believes that love made her weak, made her suffer and caused pain, the pain was unbearable, so even word love is forbidden in her kingdom. She desperately tries to run away from the pain, she thinks that she is strong, she had built huge walls around her castle, so her enemy, love couldn’t get in. She always thought that love was her enemy and she stayed behind the walls of the ice castle.

After many years of suffering she realised that enemy wasn’t love, in fact, she was lied to and she bought a lie. As they say; it is better to realise later than never. Now she knows that the only thing she was afraid of is to loose love, she was afraid to loose a feeling that was so comforting and warm and she was afraid of isolation and coldness. As ironic as it may sound, she became that which she was afraid of. She used her own will to isolate herself from love. Now she is aware that she bought a lie, she sees her enemy, she knows that enemy sold her a lie, because it can’t feel love the enemy can’t feed on love, it only feeds on fear. The enemy sold a lie to the queen that she should be afraid, very afraid she should isolate and live in her ice castle and she should fight love.

While queen lived in her ice castle she was perfect food for the enemy, although one day she shined a light on the lie and she saw it for what it was, it was a lie. The spell have been broken, warm spring came to the kingdom and ice walls started to melt, love melted ice and frost, life engulfed the castle. When the queen smells roses in her garden, that smell like apples, and drinks morning tea she invites the enemy to smell the roses. For some reason enemy seems puzzled it doesn’t understand humour and for some reason it doesn’t like the smell of roses. Some say the smell of roses is an angel and it threatens demons. Probably angels and demons don’t mix  together.

Queen is aware of the enemy she knows, the enemy wants her to be afraid, very afraid and it tries again and again to sell lies to the queen although queen says NO to an enemy. She knows the enemy well the enemy is a trickster, it likes fear because he only knows fear it doesn’t know what love is. Love is very foreign to the enemy. The enemy tries to create as much fear as it can so other snow queens and kings would be a perfect food source and it tells lies that love is bad, love hurts. The enemy is a master salesman it convinces many souls to buy fear, so they would create food and reality for the enemy.

If you think that love hurts that is a lie. Fear hurts. When fear invades your being love becomes tainted. Pure love heals and nourishes. When your heart is rigid you can’t be fluid and life force inside is frozen, you can’t move freely.

© Laura Ciciskinaite